I'm Coming Back For You
by sunlightstars
Summary: The war has ended and Tobias is lost without Tris. What happens when Cristina comes to his door at 3 in the morning on the night the initiates arrive and the night that symbolizes Tris's death?
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: 'fore warning for you all I DO NOT hold back on vocabulary. Anyway this is my first FanFic ever so i would really appreciate it if you left me reviews. I am also sorry for any grammar errors.**

 **Disclaimer: As unfortunate as it is i do not own the Divergent series or any of the characters or any of Veronica Roth's ideas. I'm simply borrowing some of her general ideas.**

 **Tobias POV**

I awoke in my Dauntless apartment with a cold sweat and my throat was dry and sore. Had i been screaming? I had a nightmare that Tris was gone. That she was dead. But that's not possible. No, when i get to the Pit she will be there. Waiting for me. Just like all the other initiates. Waiting for me to tell them what we are going to do today. Sure enough when I got there she wasn't there. All that happened was I got a few strange stares and looks of pity. Tris had been gone for a year now. I keep having to remind myself because it seemed do surreal. i walk to the cafeteria and sit at the usual table with Zeke and Shauna. I must have looked pretty bad because they were looking at me with worried expressions. I still feel guilty to this day about what I did to Uriah. I am reminded of it every time I look at Zeke. Even though every time I bring it up he shoots down my endless apologies and keeps saying that it wasn't my fault. Yet he can still see that I completely blame it on myself. I really wouldn't blame him if he agreed with me one day, even if it was only to get me to shut the hell up. I can also see that it still pains him, even after a year of Uriah being gone. Why wouldn't it? It's like me with Tris. It's a wound that's going to take a long time to heal. If it ever does.

"Are you okay?" Zeke asks, snapping me back to reality.

"I'm fine as long as I'm working in the control room today." I always go to the control room when I couldn't fix something. I went to take my mind off things. Most of the time ti helps. Some of the time it makes things worse.

"Today's our day off so Shauna and I were wondering if you might want t go shoot some stuff with us."

"Alright let's go." That's the thing with Zeke. he always knows when i want to take my mind off things and he also knows, from past experience in Dauntless when he was little, that shooting things and punching things were a good way to let out some of your emotions.

-(someone broke the page)-

After the three of us get done with shooting it's already time for lunch, so we head for the cafeteria.

"So, I never asked you. How did you sleep last night?" Shauna asks me.

"Same as I ever do, with the same goddamn nightmares that I can't get rid of." They didn't need to ask any further questions because they already knew that they had a pretty good guess. As I have already told them.

-(someone broke the page, again)-

 **Tris P.O.V**

I awake in a white room, well I thought it was white. I have a lot of machines hooked up to me. I have what looks like a heart monitor on my left and what looks to be an IV tube thingie on my right. Now that my eyes have adjusted I can see that the room is a piercing, but smooth dark blue. I am startled when the door opens.

"Your up. Good. How are you feeling?" Says a familiar voice.

"Caleb?" I say. "Where am I? Am I dead? What are you doing here?" I ask all at once.

"Your not dead. At least not anymore." He says calmly.

"What do you mean 'At least not anymore.'?"

"Beatrice" I cringe as i hear my real name. "You are at the Bureau. The war is over. Do you remember anything about what you did?" He asks me. I think hard.

"I remember a bit. I remember that we planned on letting the memory serum out in the Bureau. Then things went wrong and instead of you going to release the serum, I did." I say. By now I am starting to appreciate the color of the room, yet I still don't know why.

"Do you remember anything else/ Anything after that?" Caleb asks cautiously.

"I remember that i got pas the death serum, but David shot me and that's when I died or whatever."

"Do you remember anything you said to me before you went to the weapons lab?" He's really pushing me. Why is it so important? I decide that maybe if i talk it out i will figure it out.

"I remember telling the people that came after us that you were my captive and then..." I ponder on the moment, thinking. Then it comes to me. "Tobias!" Is all I can manage to get out.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Sorry I haven't written in a while. a lot of you were a bit confused on ch 1. So here: Tobias/Four really misses Tris and we find out that Tris is still alive. Just to let you know everyone is still alive except Al and Tris's parents. If you couldn't already tell I change POV a lot. i think that's all. Hope you enjoy!**

 **Tris** **POV**

"Tobias" is all I can manage to say. I can feel tears daring to roll down my cheeks as I try to hold them back. I now realize that I'm strapped to the table and why the room makes me feel safe. Its almost,almost the same color as his eyes. "Where is he?" barley audible, giving my best effort to hold back tears.

"He isn't here Beatrice. He's back in the city and to my understanding they have reestablished the factions. They did this type of silent vote where you write down what you want. Well most of the people wanted the factions back. those who didnt moved somewhere out of the city and rebuilt what the thought life was before the faction war."says Caleb. I can tell he looks reasonably pleased with himself for knowing so much. Erudite.

"Whoa. Okay. Lets get back t where I died. How did you revive me?"

"Well I really wouldn't call it reviving when you weren't completely dead. You were just postponed from life. Like you were suspended between life and death. None of the others noticed your faint heartbeat, but Matthew and I. I made him promise not to tell anyone, just in case i didn't succeed, I didn't want to get anyone's hopes up. I didnt even want Matthew to be involved, but he said he was seeing the same thing in Uriah and-" I stop him.

"Wait. Your seeing the same thing with Uriah? I thought he was brain dead and you guys 'unplugged' him?" I ask curiously.

"Well yes that's what we made it look like, while the nurses were taking care of him there was an irregular sign of something they had never seen before. So Matthew went to check when no one was there. Turns out Uriah had the same faint heartbeat you did. being that said we did an experiment. Since everyone, meaning Four, Christina, Zeke, Shauna, Lynn, Will, and Marlene, were wounded we kind of took advantage of that. While they were being treated for their injuries,we put an experimental drug in their pain killers so they wouldn't know what we were doing. The drug was designed to duplicate memories of yours and Uriah's life, good and bad. The tricky part was getting the duplicated memories out of them to putting them into you two. So we told them that we were checking for brain damage, we hooked wires similar to the aptitude test to them. this enabled us to extract the memories. while the whole time they were oblivious to this. We also constructed the experiment so that if it didn't work it wouldn't hurt them. I know you are probably mad at me for for everything I did to you friends and Four, I went through it too. Only I knew what was going on. I know it was completely unacceptable for me to do any of that, invading their space and all that, but I was tearing myself apart inside. I felt so guilty about barley even trying to keep you from going to the weapons lab. I know it sounds like I used them to get what I wanted, but it was for them too. I was watching them break and that made me break even more knowing that it was my fault. Even if they didn't voice their opinions about it. Well no one did except Four." He takes a break waiti for my reaction to this sudden flow of information.

"It's a little over whelming." I say truthfully. "Is Uriah, you know, awake?"

"He's been up for a week now, I would say. He's been in here everyday checking on how you've been doing."

"Where is he right now?" I ask.

"He's in his horpital room right now. The thing is Beatrice-"

"Stop calling me that, you know I prefer Tris." I cut him off.

"Okay _Tris_ ," he says emphasizing my name. "As I was saying, you won't be goin back to the city for a while. I know you will argue, but trust me, you need to stay here and make a full recovery be fore you do anything that will push you over your limits." He states this like he's practiced it over and over again, and who knows maybe he has.

"What would be considered 'over my limits'?" I ask cautiously, not sure I want the answer.

"Right now, get to on and off a train." I take that in and realiz how embarrassing that is. I'm Dauntless and I can't even get on or off a train.

* * *

 **Zeke's POV**

"He seems really down lately. Not that he was ever very cheerful, but it seems like it's worse than ever." I say as we walk back to my apartment.

"Well how would you feel if you lost the love of your life." Shuana says to me. I try to interfere, but she just keeps on talking. "Yes, yes. I know you lost Uriah, but not everyone can put up a front like you Zeke. At least you got to spend your whole childhood with Uri. Four barley got to spend a year with Tris. And besides he's feeling more down than ever because it is almost her 2nd year anniversary of being gone. Believe me it's painful the first couple of years. We may never get over the fact that two of our beloved friends and family died way too young without deserving to." she takes a breath. "I think we should invite everyone over for Dauntless and Candor. "

"Yeah let's do that and try to get a smile on everyone's faces, but then again what if Four won't come?" I ask her.

"We're just going to have to force him to come." Shuana says indifferently.

Luckily Four had no problem in coming over for Dauntless and Candor. So that was a relief. As usual e held the game in my apartment and the only changes were 1: the absence of Uriah and Tris and 2: the fact that Shuana moved in with me because no matter what she says she still needs my help getting around the compound and we both wanted company so we wouldn't be in our apartments by ourselves.

"So we shall begin. Who wants to start." I ask. Not sure if I want to start my self.

"It's yours and Shuana's apartment so why don't one of you go first." Cristina asks.

"Alright then. Will, Dauntless or Candor?" Shuana starts the game seeing as how I am uncomfortable. It was always Uriah that started.

"Candor"

Again awkward silence. Uriah isn't here to yell PANSYCAKE.

"Okay, why did you transfer to Dauntless?"

"Is that the best you got?" Will retorts.

"Just answer the damn question."

"Alright. I transferred to Dauntless because I didn't want to sit behind a desk all day doing pointless research and Dauntless members looked happy with their choice. Plus it looked really fun." He answers simply.

"My turn. Christina, Dauntless or Candor?"

"Dauntless!"

"Alright I dare you to get a ridiculous tattoo that I get to pick out. I also get to pick where you get." Cristina takes off her jacket.

"Hey, I know how Will is and I know he will keep true to his word. Plus tattoos are permanent. I may seem like a PANSYCAKE , but I don't want to do something I will regret later."

 **Tobias POV**

"Four?" Cristina asks

"Sorry what?" I wasn't paying attention. I was thinking about how empty it feels without Uriah's yelling and Tris's warmth next to me.

"I asked you ' Dauntless or Candor?" She says. By the look on her face she might know what I'm thinking about.

"Dauntless."

"I dare you to get tattoo that means something to you. Anything." I am relatively pleased she asked me this.

"Anyone coming with me?" Everyone gets up and fallows me out the door.

When we get to the tattoo parlor I ask Tori to do my tattoo since she isn't busy. I already know what I want to get. I put it together on the way over here. Another reason I asked Tori is because she will already know what it's supposed to mean. So I won't get strange looks or pity from any of the other artists.

"So what's your tattoo going to be?" Cristina obviously asks for the whole group because they are all looking ant me expectantly.

"That is for me to know and you to find out."

"Well at least we know someone never lost their stern character." Everyone laughs at that.

"Well, Christina, at least we know someone never lost their Candor smart mouth." I say in a mocking tone. Well at least Cristina shuts up at that.

"Four you do realize, in order to give you the tattoo I have to know what it's going to be." Tori looks at me expectantly and so does everyone else.

"Yes, I know. I'll write it down on paper." After I have the soon to be tattoo written down on paper, Tori gets to work. I get it on the inside of my right arm, knowing that is my dominant arm so I will look at it often. After a little while Tori's done and I feel the familiar sting that the tattoo needle left.

Christina, not being able to take being oblivious as to what my tattoo is tries again. "So, are you going to tell us what your tattoo says now?"

I give her smirk then tell them. "It says 'Those who we love never really leave us'. I can tell they have enough common sense to tell that I'm talking about Tris and I'm relieved by it. As we head back to the apartment I figure out what I want to ask Lynn a Dauntless or Candor.

A/N: I really appreciate the reviews that I have gotten and I'm sorry if I don't update regularly. I live on a farm and it's hard to find time to wright this. Also I know realize that my chapters are short. I'll try to rite longer ones. Thank you again for reading! Review review review! Pls


	3. Chapter 3

**Tobias POV**

Knowing that Lynn always picks Dauntless and its unlikely that she backs out, I think of one that she might hate me for. "So it's my turn. Lynn, Dauntless or Candor?"

"Dauntless, duh."

"I dare you to go to Eric's apartment and when he opens the door, push yourself inside. Then turn around and make out with him." Before I'm interrupted I continue. " and if he isn't there go onto the apartment, pick the lock if you have to, steal something of his that you think he may value." We are all surprised when Lynn takes of her shirt leaving her in just her tank top.

"What? I an't risking the chance of having to make out with Eric. I hate him. And all his piercings."

"For as long as I've known you this is the first dare you have ever backed out of." Marlene says gaping.

"What ever." Lynn says dismissing Marlene's comment."Cristina, Dauntless or Candor?"

"Candor."

"Okay. What is your least favorite object in the world?"

"Really. Um okay. A clock."

"Why do you hate clocks!" Marlene says.

"I don't like them because they tell time. Like if your having a lot of fun you look at a clock and its like time moved faster on propose. Or when your having a really shitty time, you look at a clock and it seems that time is dragging on making you miserable."

"Wow, that's deep." Zeke says.

After that I pretty much zone out. Not really caring to listen. Thankfully no one does any dares that means we have to leave the apartment. After everyone is done I go back to my apartment. I see that our game lasted close to two hour and I have been in my apartment for about an hour. I can't believe that in one month new initiates arrive and the day they arrive symbolizes Tris's second year being gone. I wish she were here to help me.

 **Tris POV**

(Three hours previous.)

I had asked Caleb to unstrap me from the table and he did though he looked reluctant. I was left to my thoughts for about half an hour before Uriah showed up.

"Hey how are you feeling?" He asked as soon as he saw me up.

"I'm as fine as anybody would be being practically dead for a year. You?" I ask him.

"Oh about the same." I laugh and realize that it feels good.

"So what do you think their doing right now?" I ask him my smile faded back to seriousness.

"Oh, probably playing Dauntless and Candor and morning over the fact that I'm not there to yell pansycake at anyone who deserves it." When he finishes, I can't say that I'm surprised that my smile and laugh worked its way out of me. Uriah was always the one to cheer everyone one up without fail. Either that or he'd annoy the crap out of people.

"Yea, I'm sure. Do you know when we will be able to go back into the city?" I ask him.

"Caleb said that you will be able to leave in a month. So that way you can build your strength again and everything." He says serious now. " I have been training for the past two weeks. So I'd be able to leave earlier, but I'm not doing that. I'm staying here to help you."

"Thank you. That means a lot to me." I say. It really does mean a lot to me, to know that a friend will be there to help me along the way. I can't wait to get back to the city. To see everyone again. To see Tobias again. I wonder if he's moved on from me. Found another girl. Lost hope.

"Tris?"

"What? Oh, sorry. I was just lost in thought. Did you say something?"

"Do you want to go get something to eat?"

"Of course you would say that Uriah."I say, emphasizing you.

"What! It's been like a year since you've tasted food!" He argues

"And it's been like, what? A couple of hours since you've tasted food." I retort playfully.

"Well duh. Dinner was a couple of hours ago. By the way, how long have you been up?"

"I don't really know. I think about since like a little before lunch."

"AND YOU HAVEN'T EATEN YET? You are coming with me to get food. Geez woman. How long can you last without food?" He says with a fake surprised tone as he drags me out the door.

"Well the typical human can last two weeks without food, but only two days without water. Luckily I haven't I haven't gone two days without water or I'd be dead."

"Yea, yea, yea. Miss Erudite."

"Don't call me Erudite." I tell him in a sudden cold tone as I abruptly stop, and it must have scared him because he looked startled.

"Sorry. I didn't mean it to be offensive."

"No. Sorry Uriah I was being stupid. I did get an aptitude test result that was Erudite."

"Don't be sorry. You have every right to hate them. And I understand that. Well I don't understand but- Well you get the point- they killed your family and took away everything from us. I mean your own brother practically walked you to your execution." He says, hurt and sympathy laced in his voice.

"I don't want to talk about this right know. As I remember we were going to get food." He sees the pleading in my eyes and we keep walking. When we get to the cafeteria, I get the only thing left- a hamburger. As I put ketchup on my hamburger, I remember the first time I got one. And the first time I talked to Tobias. Well he was Four then, but it still reminds me of him. I so long to see him. I crave for the slightest physical contact with him. I wonder how he is and how he's been handling things.


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: THIS IS A VERY IMPORTANT AUTHORS NOTE: I am going to be changing my username to something a little more mutual. I will be changing it for the next chapter. Also, yes I realize I haven't really been doing the disclaimers so here: I ONLY OWN MY IDEAS. ALL RIGHTS FO TO VERONICA ROTH. THIS DISCLAIMER GOES TO ALL MY CHAPTERS( that I forget to,put disclaimers for). That's it for now. Enjoy the chapter!**

Tobias POV(see what I did there)

I wake up to another day without Tris there to say good morning to me. Most people would think I'm stupid for not moving on. For not accepting that she is gone and no one can come back from the dead. I am not even sure why, but I'm still hopeful. I still can't bring myself to find another girl. I can't and I won't find anyone like Tris again. At least that much I have come to accept. I look at the tattoo that I got just last night. I got it to remind me of her. I got it for Tris.

"HEY! YOU UP IN THERE!" Ah the typical Zeke. I walk over and open the door.

"Where's the fire?" I ask calmly.

"What?!"

"Where's the fire? It's my day off and your getting me up at... 6 in the morning."

"We're going to go zip lining and we're dragging you along with us."

"No your not taking me zip lining. Goodbye." I say as I try to shut the door.

"No, dude come on it's going to be fun."

"Fun is not the word to use with someone who is deathly afraid of heights. More like terrifying."

"Oh come on you did it for Tris once."

"Goodbye Zeke and have a good time." I say coldly.

"No! Wait, Four I'm sorry."

"GO AWAY!" I slam the door and walk back into my apartment. I feel tears running down my face. I feel guilty for doing that to Zeke, but he pushed me too far. I still ache for the kiss I never got to give her when I came back. There's only three weeks until initiates come. There's only three weeks until the two year mark of her being gone. Being dead. I walk over to the dresser and stare at the picture of us sitting over the chasm that she gave to me for my birthday. It was the best thing that I ever got. Well besides Tris. I look at it to remind me of her and what we had. I find joy in it.

Tris POV

I wake up to another day without Tobias beside me. I groan. I have to start training today. I wonder if it will be anything like Dauntless initiation. I still worry that Tobias has moved on and when we go back into the city I'll just be parading into his life, unwanted. I hear someone knock on the door and groan at the fact that I have to get up to answer it.

"You up yet?" It's Uriah. I go to the door and open it.

"Actually I just got up." Then I realize that I'm just in my shirt and feel my face heat up in embarrassment. I pull down my shirt. It doesn't go very far.

"Alright. Well put some cloths on and meet me in the cafeteria for breakfast and I'll tell you what going on."

"Ok thanks Uri."

I put a different shirt on and some leggings and head for the cafeteria. When I get there I see Uriah sitting at a table with Caleb. I go grab my breakfast-which consists of a chocolate muffin- and I walk over to where Uri and my brother are sitting. "Hey."

"Good morning Tris." Caleb says to me when I sit down.

"Morning. So what's going on?"

"Well first off you need to start eating decent."

"Oh shut up Caleb."

"Anyway, your going to be training with me. Caleb and Matthew set up a training room, with my help, kind of like the one back in Dauntless, only a little smaller. There you will be working on your physical strength. And your brother is right, you will have to start eating more food than that in order to not pass out." Uriah says. "So then hopefully by the end of the month you will have gained enough weight and strength for us to go back to the city." At the last part I look down at myself and just now realize how skinny I am.

"Your sounding like my brother Uri." I say.

"That's because I think of you like my little sis." I can see Caleb tense up after this.

"Oh and your also going to have to spend one night in the hospital every week so we can put you on a heart monitor." Caleb says to me.

"Why?"

"Because we need to know that your heart is getting stronger after almost dying and make sure it's functioning right."

"Courtesy to the Bureau I'm guessing." I say lazily.

"Yes."

"So you ready to go to the training room now?" Uriah asks me.

"Yup." The walk to the training room isn't long. When we get there Uriah shows me what to do, which is to stand in front of a punching bag and see if I am strong enough to move it- I can move it barley an inch, then I'm done for today. So I go back to the 'apartment' that I sleep in. It's the same room that Tobias and I lost our virginity in. The same room that Tobias and I last had a decent conversation. It reminds me of him. A lot. A little more than I would wish, but hey I miss him. A little more than I would wish.


	5. Chapter 5

**i don't own anything but my own ideas! And hey I'm not dead. I'm just lazy.**

 **Christina POV**

I'm still healing from the war. I mean everyone is. I can see it. After the war we went back to the factions. I of course went back to Dauntless. I got s job as a nurse and now I'm happily helping people that are injured. I don't do severe stuff because I can't handle it and luckily my boss understands that. Will was saved from a gunshot wound in his abdomen, that Tris gave him regrettably, and Marlene was saved from unintentionally jumping off a building. Will and i both work as Dauntless-born instructors. Four still works as a initiate instructor and quit his position in leadership and resumed his place in the control room. Will also works as a doctor. Zeke remained his place in the control room. Lynn works as a fight entertainer. Marlene helps with both transfer and Dauntless-born initiates and works with Lynn. Shauna works in the control room with Zeke and Four in the control room and Tori went back to the tattoo parlor. So we are all okay. Well I can't say that, Tris and Uriah aren't here so we're far from okay. Four is getting more distant as Tris's death date nears. Zeke is trying to hold his sorrow and pain in from Uriah for everyone. I hate to say it, I guess I am grateful for it too. He shouldn't be holding his grief in like that, but I have to say he has helped me through sorrow and tears a good many times. And I am truly grateful for that. Then someone comes and I only just now realize that I'm in a dark hallway with tears streaming down my face.

"Hey you okay?" It's Zeke of course.

"Just thinking about everything. The war, the deaths..." I let the sentence finish itself. He knows what I'm talking about because he then wraps his arms around me in a hug. Then the next thing I know I'm sobbing into his shirt.

"Hey it's going to be alright. We'll get through it together, as a family. You'll always have us. You know Shauna, Marlene, Will, Four, Lynn, and me, we'll be our family and we'll help each other out through everything." He says to me and I start to calm down a little. Well enough to talk.

"Hey um, I was thinking since in three weeks it's going to be the mark of their deaths, um maybe we could give them a tribute. You know since they were Ike the two most important people in the war. If you don't want to that's okay, it was just a thought."

"No, that's a great idea. We should hold it in the Pit and invite a lot of people to pay their respects. And maybe have a few people speak."

"Yea, should we tell Four and everyone now?"

"I think it would be best now."

Caleb POV

It's only been a day since Beatr- Tris woke up from her coma type thing and she's been improving a lot. She must really want to go back to the city. I mean who wouldn't when the love of your life is there, hopefully, waiting for you.

"Hey"

"Oh, hey Tris. What's up?"

"Really, Caleb you have been avoiding me and everyone and your in a dark, abandoned hallway. What's up with you lately?" Tris asks me. I can see the hurt in her eyes.

"I don't know. I guess it's because you sacrificed your self for me and I gave no objection to it. You could have died and it would have been my fault. I feel guilty about my actions, and yes you were good in Abnegation And I'm sorry for always pushing you down when we lived there because I thought you weren't selfless enough and I know you thought that too, but what you did, you sacrificed your self for me, even though you had a lot of friends and the one you love waiting for you, that was the biggest act of selflessness I have ever seen. That was the greatest thing that someone has ever done for me and I don't like thinking about it like that because it makes me feel even more guilty that you went instead of me. It hurts me seeing you struggle to get your strength back. It hurts to know that I could of token your place, but I was too much of a coward to do it. I thought about myself before you and I'm the older brother, in supposed to protect you, but when ever that time comes your always the one to protect me first." When I'm done I see her silently crying. "Beatrice, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make you cry."

"No Caleb, it's fine. You made me cry for good reasons. I love you and I do forgive you. I'm just not good at expressing that kind of stuff." She says through her tears.

"I love you to, Tris. Always know that, I love you. If mom and dad were here right now with us, I'm sure they'd be proud of you. For everything that you've done and grown to be."

"I miss them a lot. I wish they were here right now." Tris says, with more tears streaming down her cheeks.

"I miss them too, but we need to stay strong. We will see them again someday and I hate to say it, but I hope it's not for a long time."

"Me too."

"Hey let's go get something to eat. We missed breakfast because we were talking." I tell her. And I'm glad she agrees so I don't have to force food on her.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

Tris POV(again see what I did there)

By the end of Caleb's and my conversation I can see tears just starting to make there way down his cheek before I wipe them away with the sleeve of my shirt.

When we get to the cafeteria I get a blueberry muffin, a milk, and a banana. I know I need to start eating better, so why not start at the most important meal of the day?

"Well I see you are eating a little better." Caleb, of course, says to me.

"What is this not good enough for you." I say sarcastically.

"It's fine. It's just-" At that moment Uriah comes and interrupts him with good mornings to us.

"Thank god, Uriah. You just saved me from a really long lecture from my brother."

"I wasn't going to lecture you."

"Yea uh hu."

"Anyway, um. Oh right! Tris we are going to do some more physical training, Dauntless style!" Uriah says to me with mischievous excitement in his voice.

"Ok, as long as she doesn't do anything too strenuous."

"Caleb, your making it sound like I'm pregnant and can't do much or something."

"Are you?" He asks semi curious.

"NO! Why would you ask that?"

"I don't know. Just curious."

"Okay. This conversation really got weird. Um, Tris I'll be in my 'apartment' when your done eating." Uriah says to me before he leaves.

"K bye." I say to him.

"Well tomorrow you are going to do your heart monitoring in the hospital. We decided to do it in he afternoon instead of you spending the night in the hospital tomorrow because you still need to do that too. "

"Thank you so much!"

"Well since you woke up I could see how uncomfortable you were in hospitals. And I know your more than capable to take care of your self. I am just worried about you, but you are going to have to spend at least three nights in the hospital before you go back to the city. So we can see your heart rate and heartbeat pattern when your asleep and see if their normal."

"Alright. I understand that you know I am capable to take care of myself and that your just worried about me. Your my older brother, even if it's only by a few months, and it's your job to look out for me. I love and I know I haven't said it enough, not I forgive you too. I understand people make mistakes and that sometimes they can be big ones. I understand that people can be persuaded or influenced easily. And I also understand that no matter how much I try to deny that it isn't real you are my only family left. No matter how much I wish it not true, mom and dad are gone. I know I have Four, but you don't have anybody, that I know of,except me and I love you. No matter what we will look out for each other. I can't say it enough. I love you and I forgive you. No matter what you will always have me because we are family. By the way, do you have a special somebody?" I ask curiously.

"Um uh, kind of. I think. Yes." He says nervously.

"Who." Of course I need to know if my brother has a girlfriend.

"Do I really have to tell you that?"

"Yes. Of course. I'm your sister." I say in a defensive tone.

"Fine. Iamgoingoutwithnita." He says hurriedly.

"What? Didn't quite get that." I think I have a good idea what he said, but hey he's my brother. It's my job to give him a hard time.

"I said I am going out with Nita." He replied to me just a little slower.

"What's that?" I am so evil to him.

"I said for the third time I...am...going...out...with...Nita."

"Oh good for you!"

"You knew what I was saying the whole time didn't you?"

"Yes. Yes I did. I'm your little sister it's my job to give you a hard time." I reply innocently. "Well I'm going to go. See you around." I say before he comments.

When I get to Uriah's room we start to walk to the 'training room'. As we are walking I see a figure in a wheel chair. Great David, just what we need. Before I can stop him Uriah storms of in David's direction.

"HEY!" And with that Uriah punches David in the jaw. When I run over to them I can already see a bruise forming on David's confused face. Right he got memory serum.

"Uriah!" I say in a surprisingly high pitched voice.

Don't you just love cliff hangers? Sorry this ch is so short. Review pls.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter7

A/N: WARNING! MENTIONS OF SELF HARM IN THIS CHAPTER. So if you don't like it, there's going to be a lot of it in this story actually, stop reading. Hope you enjoy! And plz review!

Disclaimer: I don't own anything except my own ideas. All rights go to Veronica Roth.

Uriah POV

When I look back at Tris I see both hurt and fear in her eyes then it's masked with anger as she grabs my arm and drags me to I'm guessing the training room. I scared her. I made her mad at me. More importantly I hurt her.

"Tris..." I say as I stop abruptly. "Tris, I-I'm sorry. I..I-I just g-got mad. Please. Listen to me." I plead. Why am I stuttering?

"And what would you have to say that I would want to hear?" She spits her words at me and it only makes me feel even more guilty.

"An explanation maybe." I say in a small voice.

"Did you ever think I might not want to hear your explanation?" With that she runs the rest of the way to the training room. And I follow.

"Tris please just let me explain. Please." I continue to plead with her when I get into the room.

"Will it make you shut up about it?" She retorts.

"Yes it will."

"Then what are you waiting for? Explain." Tris demands.

"After I woke up from my coma Caleb and Matthew told me what happen and I got mad at David because of what he did to you. And I was really scared that you wouldn't wake up. So over the last two weeks I was trying to stay away from David and if I had to go near him for something I brought Caleb or Matthew or somebody with me so I wouldn't try to attack him. Well I saw him in the hallway just sitting there and you were next to me and I remembered all the anger that I felt and I remembered what he did to you and I couldn't stop myself. I care about you Tris. I love you like you were my little sis. I couldn't stand the way he hurt you. Even if he's oblivious to it now. Without him, without the Bureau, we wouldn't be in this mess. We would have been in the city right now sitting and talking to our friends. We would have been enjoying our lives. I wouldn't have been in a coma and you wouldn't have almost died. I care about you and I guess I didn't care what I did to David. I guess I got carried away. I'm really, truly sorry Tris."

"Yes. Well it's not all his and the Bureau's fault. Don't get me wrong I hate David's guts, but it's not all their fault. I mean they didn't plant the idea that Divergents were bad in Jeanine's head. They loved Divergents. I mean sure I'm mad at them for not helping us during the war, but you know I try not to act out of anger. Try not to. Sometimes it doesn't work out that way, but I try. And I would like you to try too. For me. For Marlene. For Lynn. For Zeke. For Shuana. For Will. For Christina. For Four. For your mom. For everyone and for yourself. And we'll get through this together. You and me. We'll get through this. I promise. So will you try? For everyone?"

"Yes I will try. I will try to stay strong for you and I will try not to act out of anger anymore. For your sake. For myself. For everyone." And I mean every word of it. I will try. I'll try my hardest.

Christina POV

Zeke and I got everyone over to his apartment so we could talk to them about doing a tribute to Uri and Tris. We both never told anyone so that way they could all be here to hear it at the same time. After all we have three weeks.

"Alright everyone thank you for coming to my glorious apartment when you could be doing something so much better with your time." Zeke starts.

"So I know you guys have no idea as to why your hear, but Zeke and I wanted to do something for Tris and Uri. So we thought that we could pay a tribute to them. You know like honor them because they weren't only big faces in the war. They were also our friends and family. And we loved them." I am not surprised when I see Marlene and Shuana get teary eyed or when I feel tears go down my own cheeks. What I am surprised about is when Four's eyes start to water. I guess it's selfish of me to think that way because he loved Tris and thought of Uri as a brother, but the big scary Four has finally showed his soft side in front of us. I think it's sweet, but he'd kill me if I ever voices that thought.

"I like it very much. I think it's sweet."

Shuana replies through her tears.

"I think we all love the idea." Marlene pipes up.

"When would it happen and where would it happen?" Four says though his voice is raspy from keeping back tears.

"Christina and I were thinking that we could have it on the night and in the Pit. We could find out more details later like who to invite, but I was kind of thinking invite some people from each Faction and of course we would have to invite Caleb, if he's still at Erudite, because he's her brother and all." Ug I really strongly dislike that...person? I don't know what to call him. I mean how can you walk your sister to her execution and then let her die for you later on. I can see the discomfort in everyones eyes. Well I guess I have to say something.

"I know you all hate/strongly dislike him. I understand. I really, really don't like his guts either, but you know he's her brother and knowing Tris for how I did, I know she probably forgave him because one he's her brother and two she was Abnegation. And she once told me that her mother said to her once, sometimes we have to forget to forgive, but forgetting is never truly the answer to our problems, and I believe that. It may be an Abnegation thing, but it's true. Well anyway we were kind of thinking that some of us or all of us could say some things about them since we were the closet, besides Tris's brother. If you don't want to that's fine. " I say and all of what I said was true, every bit of it.

"What would we do about the initiates?" Will asks.

"Stupid they would come to the Pit of they wanted to also." I tell him. God sometimes he's is such a retard.

"No! I mean what are we going to do about giving the a tour and all?" He says defensively. He may be my boyfriend, but he's still so stupid!

"You are still so fucking stupid, Will. You and I train the Dauntless-born. Four trains the transfers. Four can is capable of giving them a tour in a timely manner. We don't have to give them a tour because they lived here. Please keep up!" I say like I'm teaching a second grader a lesson.

"Sorry." Will says in defeat.

"Alright you guys aren't even married and your acting like an old married couple." Zeke says jokingly.

"Oh shut up" Will and I both say at the same time.

"So we are going to have it that night at around 8 'o clock, so that way everyone has time to eat right?" Four says stopping the argument.

"I believe that would be good. Any more questions?" Zeke asks trying to speed things up. I don't blame him, the atmosphere got pretty tense.

After no one replies we start shuffling out of the room to go back to our apartments to do whatever. I'm really glad everyone agreed. When those who have filed out are gone only Zeke, Shuana, and I are left.

"Hey um, I'm going to kind of follow Four because he looked really upset. I'm not trying to be a creepy stalker, but I want to make sure he doesn't do anything stupid. I know we all care about him too." I say to them. After they bid there heads I walk out the door in search for Four.

Tobias POV

What they came up with is really thoughtful and I really like the idea, but I can't handle this. I can't handle any longer without Tris. I loved her and I still do. I want to be with her and be with her I will.

Christina POV

When I see Four walk into his apartment I think nothing of it. Then when I start walking back to my apartment I am almost to the end when I hear...something break and I run back at full speed.

"SHIT!" Why couldn't I have just stayed there a little longer. "Christina your such an idiot!" I scold myself. When I get onto the apartment, with trouble mind you he locked the door, it is not a pretty sight. There is broken beer bottles on the floor, the bed sheets are everywhere, and the bathroom. Oh my god the bathroom. The walls are smeared in blood and there is an unconscious Four laying in front of the sink. His wrists are all bloody...

A/N: dun dun duuuun! *has evil grin*. So another cliffy. Don't kill me. *shrinks away in corner*


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

A/N: just wanted to give a shoutout to my followers, favorites, and people that have reviewed my story.

Thank you to: divergentlovertiltheend, Guest, parten340, ItsSiletntNow, DauntlessCake4664, BMama25, Bookaddict613, The Tribute Wizard Of Dauntles, kathyb, and estanhope. Thank You!

Disclaimer: I own nothing but my ideas. All rights go to Veronica Roth.

Christina POV

When I see Four walk into his apartment I think nothing of it. Then when I start walking back to my apartment I am almost to the end when I hear...something break and I run back at full speed.

"SHIT!" Why couldn't I have just stayed there a little longer. "Christina your such an idiot!" I scold myself. When I get onto the apartment, with trouble mind you he locked the door, it is not a pretty sight. There is broken beer bottles on the floor, the bed sheets are everywhere, and the bathroom. Oh my god the bathroom. The walls are smeared in blood and there is an unconscious Four laying in front of the sink. His wrists are all bloody...he tried to kill himself.

"Shit shit shit!" It's only then that I think of calling someone. After the second ring Zeke answers. Thank God.

"Hello?"

"Hi. Zeke you need to get to Fours apartment right know, we need to take him to the infirmary and bring help!" I tell him frantically.

"Okay I'll be there as soon as I can."

"Thank you." After that the line goes dead, he hung up. "Four, you can't do this to us. You can't leave us. I know you left to be with her, but we need you here. Your part of our family. We care about you. Please don't go. Please." I find myself crying I the middle of the bathroom floor over Four. Why did he do this to us? We miss her too. I miss her. She was like a sister to me. God, Tris I wish you were here right now, you would know what to do.

The next thing I know I'm being lifted to my feet by a crying Shuana, who has been recently un-paralyzed. I look through my tears and see that everyone is here. It breaks me, seeing everyone crying. Then I realize, I'm a nurse. I could have helped stop the bleeding while I was waiting for them to get here. I'm so fucking stupid! What is wrong with me?

"Come on we need to get him to the infirmary now." Zeke says snapping me out of my haze. "Will, I need you to help me carry him."

"Right." Will says though his voice is small. Lynn, Marlene, Shuana, and I walk behind them to the infirmary. When we get there I walk to the front to tell them what I saw.

"We were talking about Tris and Uriah and then when we were done everyone left. I saw four when we were talking and he looked really upset. So after everyone left, I followed him to make sure he wouldn't do anything stupid. Well I saw him walk into his apartment and I thought nothing of it. Until I started walking back to my own apartment and I heard a loud crash, so I ran back and I tried to open the door but it was locked. So when I finally got the door open I went inside and saw a lot of broken bottles on the floor and the bed sheets were thrown everywhere. The I went to the bathroom and saw blood smeared on the walls and saw Four laying on the floor, with a piece of broken glass in his hand, unconscious and his wrists were bleeding. So I called Zeke and he came with everyone else, then we came here." I manage to say without crying to much.

"Alright thank you. If you could just wait in the waiting room. They are going to get some fluids in him and stop the bleeding."

The lady at the front desks says to us.

"Is he going to be alright?" Zeke asks concerned.

"He should be. He's just unconscious from the blood loss, but he should be awake soon."

"Thank you." So we go in the waiting room to wait.

"I'm such an idiot. I could have done something. I could have done something. Instead I just sat there, crying." I scold myself.

"Chris. No one blames you." Shuana says trying to comfort me.

"I'm a nurse! I could have done something!" I yell at them. Why don't they understand? Will comes over and wraps me in his arms.

"Hey. It's going to be okay. It's gonna be fine. He'll make it through this, so will we. It'll be okay."

"You know you can be so fucking stupid sometimes Will, but I love you anyways and I'm glad I have you." I tell him.

"I love you too."

Tobias POV

"You broke your promise to her! Why? We thought you loved her, yet you broke her promise. You promised that if one of you died the other will keep on living. That they would live ago of life until it was their time to go. Instead you broke that promise! Why Tobias? Why?" Who is this. It doesn't sound like Tris. There only one face I can put to the voice.

"Natalie Prior?"

"Yes it's me."

"How are you able to communicate with me? And how do you know my name?"

"I know your name because I was good friends with your mother and I lived in the house next to yours for years. I basically watched you grow up and to as why I can communicate with you it's because you are suspended in between life and death. I am holding you at that point. So it's your choice do you want to die where you would have nothing or do you want to live where all your loved ones wait for you?"

"All of my loved ones? What?"

"Make the right choice because the one you think is waiting here for you, isn't. She isn't here Tobias."

"What do you mean she isn't here? Explain, what are you talking about?"

Ahh. Don't you just love cliff hangers! Plz review I would really appreciate it, even constructive criticism. And if you have any ideas please PM me or leave it in the review.


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9**

 **Disclaimer: I own nothing but my ideas. All rights go to Veronica Roth.**

 **Tobias POV**

" _Make the right choice because the one you think is waiting here for you, isn't. She isn't here Tobias."_

 _"What do you mean she isn't here? Explain, what are you talking about?"_

 _"I can't. I'm sorry. I'm forbidden to explain such things. I have to go now. Bye Tobias and make the right choice."_

 _"Wait! How do I make my choice?"_

 _"If you desire to go to the dead, you think of death. If you desire to live, think of the ones you love. Goodbye now. Our time is running out I love you like my own. Say hello to the living for me!"_

 _Think of those I love. I love Tris. I love Zeke, Christina(unfortunately), Uriah, Will, Shuana, Lynn, Marlene. I love them. I love them all. Come on Tobias, you can do it. Just move a finger. I can't let's start with something easier. Come on Tobias! Open your eyes. For Tris._

My eyes open and I'm laying on a hospital bed on the infirmary. It was that bad. What is wrong with me. What did Natalie mean 'she isn't here'? It doesn't make sense. I saw her laying on the table. Motionless, cold. The thought brings tears to my eyes. Natalie was right I did break the promise Tris and I made. I broke it. I need to try harder. For Tris. For me. For everyone. Next thing I know Hana, Zeke's mom, is in the room. She is a nurse here I remember.

"Your up. How are you feeling?" There's concern laced in her voice and I can see that she was crying earlier. The sight breaks me. She saw me as a son. She forgave me for what I did to Uriah and I pull a stupid stunt like this. Your such and idiot Tobias.

"If we are being honest, I feel guilty."

"What? Why?"

"Because I did this. It was my own choice. I broke a promise. I hurt more than just myself. The list could go on." I tell her.

"It would be a lie to tell you that I understand what your going through, but I want you to know that we're always here for you."

"Thank you."

"Is it alright to bring everyone else in?"

"Yea." And before I know it I'm surrounded by my friends. No,

their my family. I'm surrounded by my family. They all seem relatively happy to see me, we'll all except Christina.

"What the fuck Four?! What the hell was that?!" Yup she's mad.

"Christina..." Will tries to calm her down.

"No, don't 'Christina' me."

"Christina I think you should go. Please." Hana says calmly.

"No need to tell me. I'm oughta here. And Four, don't ever pull this shit again or hell will break lose on you and it won't be the devil that's breaking it lose on you. It will be me!" Ugh, the usual Candor, speaking what's on they mind. Her threat doesn't bother me, I can handle Christina.

Christina POV

That ass. What did he think he was doing? I do feel a little guilty about what I just did, but hey I used to be Candor, ya know where you kind of say anything and everything that's on your mind. I mean seriously he needed it. He needs his ass beat. He needs Tris? So do all of us. We need Uriah too. We all need him. As much as I hate to say it, I need him. Over the past 2 years we've become a family. A family that breaks together. A family that mends together. A family that picks each other up when they fall. Well I guess I just did a sucky job of that. The point is one of us just can't leave like that because their down.

Tris POV

I am currently walking around the Bureau. Thinking. Thinking about everything that has been going on. I can't tell what's happening in the city anymore because they shut the cameras off. I am still really worried about if everyone is okay. I hope I can leave soon. I have been getting stronger and today is my heart monitoring. I didn't resize someone was behind me until I am about to turn the corner and see a glimpse of them. I decide to stop and wait for them to catch up.

"Hello Tris!" Matthew. Why didn't I know.

"Hi Matthew. How have you been doing?"

"Good good. I can see you've been improving a lot."

"Yea. I guess I have."

"What's wrong?" He asks obviously concerned.

"I don't know. I guess I am worried about what's happening in the city." I answer truthfully.

"Please Tris, don't worry about Jose in the city they are safe and sound. Please worry about yourself."

"How do you know if their safe. All the cameras and everything are shut down!" I am almost yelling.

"Tris. Please calm down. We send five people into the city each month to check with the Faction Ambassadors and leaders that everything is alright. One person for each Faction and it just so happens that Caleb is the one for Erudite, and I for Dauntless."

"You go for Dauntless? Have you seen Four at all? Is he all right?"

"I have only seen him once because they say that he resigned from being Faction Leader and when I saw him he looked really distraught. We didn't talk very much, though."

"Thank you." And I start crying. Matthew grabs my shoulder, not enough to hurt me, and pulls me into a hug. And for once I just stand there and sob into his shirt. "Matthew?"

"What." He says softly to me.

"I'm scared."

"Why?" He asks concerned.

"I'm scared I'm not going to make it. That I'm not going to be able to see my friends and family ever again. I know it sounds absurd, but that's what I fear. I'm scared that when I go back, if I can, they will reject me. They won't care about anymore. Or worse they'll shut me out completely. After all I only knew most them for a little while before all this shit happened. I know I'm acting like a child and I know that your going to tell me everything is going to be okay. I know that it's selfish of me to think this way and don't say that doesn't matter, because it does. I was Abnegation after all, even if it was part of some stupid experiment. It's who I am. It's what I've become. The thing that scares me the most is the fact that I don't know if I will be accepted when I get back. I know that whole faction will look at me like I'm crazy. I know some might even take it to lengths as to see a doctor to make sure they aren't crazy. And..." I start sobbing again.

"And your scared Four has moved on. That he won't love or care for you again." I look at him startled. I am scared that might happen. "Well trust me. Four said himself before he left here, that he will never be able to love the way he loved you to anyone else. Even if he has 'moved on' he'd take you back as soon as he got the chance. He'd wrap you in his arms."

"A lot can happen in 2 years Matthew. I do still have my doubts about that and your right I am scared that that might happen. I really honestly hope it doesn't or hasn't. But if it has, if Four has moved on, I will be happy for him. It will be hard, but I'll try my best."

"And Tris?"

"Yea?"

"Please don't give up hope because everything will be okay...eventually."

"I won't give up hope. I. can't."

"That's my girl." He says playfully.

"Well I am Dauntless. I won't let my fears control me. And I am not your girl."

"I know your Fours girl."

"Yes. Yes I am."

"Don't you have your heart monitoring to go to?"

"Oh yea! I completely forgot."

"Come on. I'll walk you." So we walk to the hospital.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Marlene POV

What Four did made me think. Not of doing that too, but of what people have been dealing with for the past two years. Maybe even longer. What am I kidding of course people have been dealing with this type of stuff for longer. The big part of it is, which people decided to act on it, like Four did, and which ones succeeded. It's so sad that I don't even want to think about it. Yet that's all I find myself thinking about.

"Hey. What's up?" I jump. Lynn. "Whoa."

"Holy shit Lynn. You scared me."

"Sorry, I didn't realize you were so deep in thought."she says defensively.

"No it's fine."

"So what were you thinking about?"

"Oh, just about what Four did and what other people must be going through because of the war and the loved ones they lost." I start crying and Lynn pulls me into her arms in an embrace. Lynn was never the sentimental one, but I'm grateful for it now.

"Hey, we're going to be okay. We'll work this out. As a family. We're going to get through this. Together."

"I know and I now it's not very Dauntless of me to cry over such little things, but I can't help it." With that she pushes me back a little to look into my eyes.

"I'm surprised at you. I can't believe you think that. You should know that it isn't the fact if we hold our true feelings in that makes us Dauntless, but the fact that we can grow stronger and become braver."

"Wow Lynn. I'm not used to you being sentimental like this."

"Oh shut up. And I'm warning you don't tell the others or else." I smirk at her threat.

"Or else what?" I taunt.

"Or I'll wipe that smirk off your face." We both start laughing. And for that short period of time it feels like everything's back to normal. Like it was before the war. But of course it isn't. Nothing's back to normal. And I don't think it ever will be.

 **:( it seems so depressing.**


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10**

 **It was brought to my attention that I posted a double chapter. Ch. 9 was just posted before this one.**

 **Disclaimer: I own nothing but my ideas. All rights go to Veronica Roth.**

 **Uriah POV**

Tris asked me to go with her for her heart monitoring. So here I am in the hospital waiting room with her. Awaiting the doctors to tell her they are ready for her. Ever since my outburst with David, there has been a little bit of tension between us and I hope her asking me to be with her today eases that tension if not diminishing it completely.

"Beatrice Prior." The nurse calls.

"It's just Tris actually." Tris corrects immediately. I guess she wants to leave that part of her behind. I don't really blame her, her parents are gone to never come back. "Uriah? You coming?"

"Yea sorry just lost in thought." With that I follow her.

"Hello Tris." The doctor said as he came in.

"Hello Dr. Morris."

"Please call me Robert." He said with a mischievous glint in his eyes.

"No I'll stick with Dr. Morris. Thank you very much." Tris snapped back obvious to what the doctor was intending.

"Um...okay. Call me what you like." He says with a smirk. God that man needs to back off.

"Are you going to be the one to...do her heart monitoring?" I ask not wanting to say examining. This guy is enough of a creep now without having someone fuel his fire.

"No. I am not. I believe two people are, Caleb and Matthew." Thank god he's not the one doing it and two people who we know are doing it. Double bonus! "I'll leave you two."

"Thank you." Tris says quietly. After he leaves she looks at me. "Can you believe the nerve of that guy?" She scoffs.

"I can't. He's pathetic."

"I just can't wait to leave this place. I want to leave so bad it's just getting depressing." I don't like to see her like this, sad and...lost? It breaks me. After all I think of her as my sister.

"Hey it's going to be okay." I say softly trying to comfort her. "Only two weeks and three days left!"

"A lot can happen in two weeks." Before I can ask her what she meant the door swung open and Caleb and Matthew walked in. "Even if I'm your sister, it's still polite to knock." She says irritated.

"Well hello to you too." Caleb says mockingly.

"Whatever." Tris says under her breath.

"Well then let's get started." Matthew says obviously sensing the rising tension in the room.

 **Tris POV**

"Well Tris your healthy. Everything seems to be working fine."

"What is up with you and Caleb talking to me like I'm pregnant? I mean seriously."

"Well are you?" Matthew replies.

"Yes. I am pregnant. Because a baby would be able to survive 2 years in my dying body with nothing to eat. And no nutrients and the time of pregnancy is 9 months not 2 years. Sheesh people!" I say sarcastically. Like yea having sex one time will get me pregnant. I know its possible, but really?

I find myself back in 'my apartment' thinking about Uriah's and my conversation. 'A lot can happen in two weeks.' I know Uriah was confused about my comment. To be honest, so was I. So am I. I don't really know what I was talking about. My mind just gave me the answer and I said it without thinking. Whatever it means I have the unsettling feeling that I will find out in the next two weeks. Ugh! Why is my life like this. It's so confusing. I don't understand. I shouldn't be thinking like this. I should be in the 'training room' right now. I should be preparing. So maybe, just maybe we can leave sooner. I can't wait to just get out of here. It's getting quite lonely. Even with Uri, Matthew, and Caleb for company.

 **Shauna POV**

"Four, ya know if you want to talk to anyone you can. We're all willing to listen." I say. I'm trying to get him to open up, even if it means he had to relive a painful part of his past.

"I know Shauna. It's just I can't. If I did tell you guys, you'd most likely think that I'm crazy or something. What happen in that comma can't be repeated. I mean relived. Sorry. I just can't right now." What does he mean by 'What happened in that comma can't be repeated.' It makes no sense. No one was really talking to him during the comma. I mean sure, we all pleaded him to wake up. Even Christina. That reminds me.

"Four? I ask him.

"Yea?"

"I just wanted to let you now that when Christina was ragging at you she didn't really mean it. She was really upset in the waiting room when we first brought you in. She kept saying that because she's a nurse she should have helped you. She also just really upset about Tris right now and the fact you were going. To leave us because. We all know that you tried to...kill yourself so you could be with her. Christina is just really upset, we all are, that you would leave us. I went to see her after her episode in the hospital. She just said that she couldn't believe you would leave us like that. Even of it was to be with her. With Tris. We all care about you in a variety of ways. We love you like your family. You are family. You have been since you met Tori, Amar, and Zeke on the train. We love you. Why can't you see that Four? Why don't you realize we're all suffering from this. We all loved her. We all love her. Why can't you see that when you hurt yourself, it's hurting those who care about you too. Your hurting us by doing this to yourself. Please just stop!" I beg him. I realize that I began sobbing a little while ago and now he comes over to me with tears in his eyes and embraces me into a hug. And I just stand there and sob into his shoulder. Well until someone behind us clears their throat.

"Am I interrupting or...?" Says the mysterious person whom which I haven't seen. Then I realize it's Tori. Four and I turn around to see what she needs.

"Your not interrupting anything." I say through a curtain of tears and a scratchy throat.

"Okay. Well, Zeke and Christina are looking for you guys so they can go over some sort of plans with you." She must be talk about the tribute that we're doing for Tris and Uriah. She doesn't know yet,but...

"Hey Tori?" I yell before she can get to far down the hallway.

"Yea?" She yells back.

"Wait a minute. We'll go down there."

"What are you doing?" Four whisper yells.

"You'll see. Tori should be apart of this. After all she helped both Tris and Uriah a lot when they were here."

"Is that a good idea? What if Zeke and Christina get mad?"

"I'll deal with Zeke and Christina, don't worry."

"So what's up?" Tori asks once we get close enough.

"I was wondering if you'd like to join us." I ask.

"I'm not sure that's a good idea. It didn't look like I got an invitation." She says apprehensively.

"Well hey, your getting one now. I think you should be involved in this too. Plus, it's also my apartment too." I tell her.

"What if they don't want me there? I don't want to impose." Tori says. I can tell she's worried she won't be accepted.

"You wouldn't be imposing and besides I have some reasons to why you should be involved in this, okay?"

"Alright. As long as I'm not a bother." She says defeated.

"Hey, Tori your not a bother to any of us, your our friend and yes there are reasons to which why you should be involved." Four speaks up for the first time.

As we start to walk towards Zeke's apartment I can tell Tori's still nervous. After all she's walking into this blindly. I would be nervous too.

The walk to Zeke's apartment is short and we're at the door in less than 10 minutes. When I open the door all conversation stops as everyone looks from Four, to me, to Tori. Zeke and Christina are the firsts to snap out of the daze and walk towards us, well me, for an explanation. Zeke and Christina drag me into the kitchen before anyone else can ask any questions and before I know it I am standing in front of two Dauntless members, one of which was a former Candor. That mix can be deadly...to some people. Let's just hope shit don't get serious.

"What's Tori doing here?" Christina speaks first, but not in a snobby exasperated voice like someone would use if they disliked someone and you brought them to their party. No it's more of a genuine question.

"I thought that she should be involved. Considering she administrated Tris's aptitude test and hid the fact that she was Divergent. She's also been a really good friend these past two years, helping all of us get through...their deaths." I sat the last part barley a whisper and I'm not sure they heard me. "Plus she's a really nice person and have known most of us for years." I add.

"Yea, I guess your right." Zeke says.

"Damn straight I am!" I reply. "I think we've kept Tori in the dark long enough. We should go tell her what's going on." I can tell Christina feels a little awkward on this conversation. I don't blame her the conversation itself is awkward.

"Okay well I'm going to go out there now." Christina tells us.

"We're going to head out too." I tell her.

When we get out to the living room every seat is occupied and it seems as though Four had mostly recovered from when I found him in the hallway which is a really good thing if we want to do this. Christina gives up her seat next to Will so I can have a seat and she proceeds to stand in the front with Zeke so that they may explain to Tori what is going on and explain to everyone the next step in this.

"Alright everyone, we have decided it is the right thing to do to let Tori in on our plans. Anyone who has a problem with that, I ask that you voice it now or forever hold your peace." Christina starts. No one answers. "Good. Okay, Tori, basically what we are doing is a tribute for Uriah and Tris. Ya know like remembrance. And we have also decided I think to let the people who knew them well say a few things about them. We are just going to start the special invitation list today. In other words invitations that specifically address someone, but of course anyone who knew them or really anyone I guess will be invited. That is if we all decide that." Christina continues.

 **And that is the end of this chapter. Hope you liked it! Plz review. Constructive criticism welcome! I won't be updating this frequently for a while because I don't have any ch written ahead of time right now. I would love to have some ideas! *hint hint***


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N: thank you to a guest that told me that I had a duplicate chapter.**

 **THANK YOU TO: District4Victor77, orange000, PiperValdez888, gsturdevent1103, Guest, Angel1D98, paula'08, and disillusionist9 for following, faving, and reviewing my story.**

 **Christina POV**

I'm really glad everyone doesn't have any objections on letting Tori be apart of this. She has helped all of us through...this hard time. And Shauna and Four are right she does deserve to be apart in all this. She's a very nice person. I can tell she was a big part in Tris' and Uriah's life. Tori's just amazing in general.

"Okay. So as Christina said, today we are working on the special invitations and discussing if anyone from any faction is going." Zeke says.

"I think Caleb should go. After all he is her sister and towards the end it seemed like he actually loved her-" I'm cut short by Four scoffing.

"Yea. Walking her to her death sounds like real love. Letting her risk her life and die sounds like real love!" By the end Four is yelling and I swear the neighbors are going to come over here any minute to see what's going on. Fortunately they don't.

"Four please. After all you did say that Caleb told you she didn't want to leave you. Or any of us. We all miss her. She meant something to all of us. We all took it very hard after she was gone. After both of them was gone. Tris didn't want to leave any of us. She was too Abnegation for her own good. She couldn't just let her brother die. You know that. She was special to all of us in her own way. Just please Four don't hurt yourself any further by getting mad at the past. We can't change what happen. No one can. We all loved both of them. And we have to honor them and their sacrifice by trying to keep on living our lives!" By the end of her little speech Tori is yelling with tears streaming down her face. I know Tori cared about Tris and Uriah, but I didn't know she cared about them as much that she would start crying and yelling at Four. We all miss them. I don't know anyone who could miss them more then the people in this room. Our little family that's missing some of its members. We'll never fully heal. I don't know if we'll even come close to it.

 **Tris POV**

Uriah and I are walking in the cafeteria when I see her. The last person I want to see. Especially now.

"Tris, your alive."

"Thanks for stating the obvious." I retort sarcastically.

"I was just surprised. No need to be rude."

"Politeness is just deception in pretty packaging." I retort once again remembering Christina saying that a while ago.

"You, little girl, need to lose the attitude."

"I am not a little girl!"

"You act like it. Following Four around. Seeing if he'll protect you."

"Shut up! You have no right. NO RIGHT Evelyn!" I scream. By now everyone, which thankfully isn't that much, in the cafeteria is looking at us. "To say anything about him. I didn't want him to sacrifice anything for me. I didn't want him to protect me. He did it because he loved me!" I yell at her.

"Loved. Past tense. So your saying he doesn't love you anymore."

"He doesn't know I'm alive." I tell her exasperatedly.

"I'll see to it that it stays that way." Evelyn states simply. What? No! No no no no no! This isn't happening. I have to see him again. If I don't I'll kill myself. I've lasted one month without inflicting physical pain on myself because o knew they wouldn't let me leave if I did. I've waited one month.

"What." I ask in a small voice.

"Does the princess finally concede?" Evelyn asks. Princess?

"Princess? What made you come up with that nickname for me?"

"Well you act just like one. A self centered little brat." She states calmly.

"Well Evelyn," I say calmly. "To answer your question. I will never concede! Not to you." I've raised my voice so much, you could call it screaming.

"What a shame." And with that she punches me. Square in the jaw with a ring on. I can feel my lip split and blood streaming down the side of my cheek. Before I even have time to think about what I'm doing, I attack her and you can tell she hasn't really had experience fighting. She never needed to, she had other people to do it for her. I punch kick and do what ever else there is to do to inflict pain. And a short time later I feel someone wrap their arms around my waist and begin lifting me up. I start to thrash, not knowing who it is.

"Hey hey. It's okay. It's only me." Says a calm and soothing voice. Uriah. I immediately stop thrashing and allow him to put me down. "If I let you go are you going to attack her?"

"No." I say.

"Promise?" He asks.

"Promise." I say flatly. He dyes me down and I start walking over to her.

"Hey! You promised!" Uriah yells after me.

"I promised I wouldn't attack her, and I won't." I say calmly. When I get to her I see just how made I managed to hurt her. Not very much. Maybe a broken nose, some bruises, and a split lip. Me, on the other hand. I'm a mess. I have bruises everywhere, a broken nose, most likely a broken wrist, blood everywhere, four cuts just above my left eyebrow and two above the right, blood running down my face, and my lip is split in several places. I guess she's a good fighter after all. Plus I wasn't just up against her, but four of her body guards as well.

"We need to leave tonight." I tell Uriah. Caleb left this morning after my heart monitoring to go back to the city permanently and I'm glad. Uriah and I are supposed to wait another few weeks, but we can't. We need to leave now before Evelyn wakes up. Or she'll make sure we never leave.

 **I know it's a shorter chapter, but I had to end it there. In the next chapter there will be a lot of changing POV. REVIEW! As always, constructive criticism is welcome.**


	12. Chapter 12

**Like I said there will be a lot of changing POV in this chapter. Just wanted to clear something up, Tris is the biggest face in the war, then Four, and third is Uriah. The rest fall behind them. And someone said that they wanted to see more Wilstina( not sure how to spell that) I will like after all the craziness settles down a bit. I'll still have Christina and Will teasing each other while all this is happening, as for Wilstina, that won't happen for a little bit.**

 **Tris POV**

"What about your injuries. Your in no state to travel that far." Matthew says from behind me.

"That doesn't matter right now. If we don't leave now, we'll never be able to." I tell him.

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

 **Four POV**

We have three more days until the anniversary and until the initiates arrive. Zeke, Christina, Tori, and Shuana have been working their asses off doing this thing. They would barely let any of us help them get things cleared so as many people as wanted could come. There's three more days until the choosing ceremony. It's not the first since the war, but that doesn't make it any easier. Before everything went to hell, Tris told me she wanted to train initiates with me. Last year she couldn't. She will never be able to.

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

( **The never before seen!) Tori's POV**

The four of us have been working hard on this tribute for the past week. It's enjoyable, but it's also a lot of work. I'm honestly very glad they let me help them with this, even with my outburst at Four.

"Zeke! We are not Amity! Or have you forgotten that we don't do colorful things with glitter everywhere and sweet little sayings. That's Amity's thing, not ours. Fix it!" Shuana yells at Zeke. We are currently making the invitations. We really only need 6, but Christina insists on making some for her family and Will's so they can be specially invited.

"Well Tris's a girl and if Uriah was here, he'd make it look as stupid as possible." Zeke says in his own defense.

"Don't you remember that Tris was Abnegation. All they had was grey and different variations of grey." I remind them.

"Yes, but she must of had a favorite color. I mean no ones favorite color is grey." We all look at Christina, I suspect like she's grown two heads, because she was the closest to Tris and she doesn't even know her favorite color.

"What?" Christina asks us.

"You were her best friend and you don't know what her favorite color was?!" Zeke asks her in disbelief.

"Well we weren't really close and she wasn't a very open person. I'll go find Four and bring him back here." She gets about three steps out the door before she turns around and comes back in. "Does anybody know what his apartment number is. I wasn't paying any attention how to get there or what his apartment number was when I was breaking his door down."

"Leader apartment 46. We live on the same floor, just in different hallways." I tell her. Even though he isn't a leader anymore. We let him keep his apartment. Partially because his old one was destroyed and partly because we hope he becomes a leader again.

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

 **Four POV**

I'm in my apartment when I hear a knock on my door. I open it to find Christina on the other side.

"Four. I'm surprised you answered the door right away." She tells me.

"Well I was right here anyway. What do you need?" I ask her lazily.

"I need you to come down to the control room with me because we need your help with something."

"Um, okay?"

"Just come on." There's that Candor smart mouth I'm used to.

As we are walking to the control room I look at the walls. Remembering the first time I walked these halls and the first time I walked these halls as Tris's instructor. It seems like ages ago that everything seemed perfect. That no one knew or suspected a war. Why can't everything go back to the way it was? My mother used to say that everything happens for a reason. Well what was the reason for Tris dying? Why couldn't it have been me? No. I can't let these thoughts consume me. It'll only make it harder. Natalie even told me that the choice I was making, attempted suicide, was the wrong one. That I'd be breaking my promise to Tris. Tris. It seems like she knew she was going to die and made me promise that so I would have to try. Try to live my life.

"Yea, what did you need?" I ask them lazily, once I get into the control room.

"What's Tris's favorite color?" Zeke

asks me.

"This. This is what you wanted me for?"

"Just answer the damn question Four." Christina basically yells at me.

"Woah. Ok. Turquoise, dark blue, black, and red."

"Thanks man." Zeke tells me.

I think I will say something at the tribute in three days, even though I'm terrible at speeches. But that's ok because she will be there standing next to me. Tris will be there with me.

 **A/N: I know. Super short chapter. So sorry about that. I've just been really busy with volleyball and keeping my grades up AND work at the farm. Don't kill me please! :') ok. So some ideas? I haven't started writing the next chapter yet, but I'll try to get done soon. No promises. REVIEW! Thanx. ;)**


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N: So sorry it's taken me soooo long to update. I've been supper busy with school and FFA. My team and I went to States! I'm really happy about that! ;) if you don't know what FFA is and want to PM me.**

 **Tris POV**

I didn't realize how hard it was going to be when I told Matthew that we had to leave right away. Too late to turn back now. Besides, I don't want to turn back. I need to get to Tobias. I don't care if I pass out on the way. Ok, so maybe I care a little bit. When we were on our way to the Bureau, it wasn't this hard. Most likely because I was well rested up and we were running from one of Evelyn's men, but still. I wonder what Tobias is doing now. I wonder if he misses me. I wonder if he's already moved on and found someone else. Someone better. I know Matthew said he hadn't, but you never know what could happen in such a small amount of time.

 **Tobias POV**

Two days to go. I am not ready for this. This...this can't be possible. I wake up every morning hoping she'll be by my side. Hoping that it was all just a terrible nightmare. That there was never a war. That I'm still her initiation instructor. That I'll still walk into the training room and search for her face first. The face that I had come to look for first. The sort of "safe face" in the crowd. I keep waking up and start hoping beyond hope. This can't be happening. This isn't possible.

 **Zeke POV**

Two days. Two days until the official mark that means Uri has been dead for two years. Two days; two years. Yea. How ironic. I try to be happy. Like I usually am. Like I used to be. I don't want anyone to think anything serious is wrong. Even though it is. Four shouldn't blame himself for Uriah's death. I was being irrational. I really want to still be the "happy-go-lucky" guy right know. But it seems impossible at this time.

 **Christina POV**

I really miss Tris. Everyone does. Everyone was hoping she'd be one of our leaders wether they said it or not. Then, when we found out she was dead, it was like everyone stopped for a minute. Took a breath and waited. Waited to find out what was going to happens next. Four was too distraught to make the announcement, as was everyone else. So Tori did. God Tris. Why did you have to leave us?!

 **Peter POV**

I guess I feel bad. Eh, maybe a little bit, but I ain't Amity or Abnegation so... Yea yea yea. Two days and all that other shit. They wanted Tris to be a leader and all that shit. Whatever. No one likes me. I know that.

 **Shauna POV**

Zeke and Four aren't doing too good. I wouldn't blame them. They each lost someone they deeply cared about. Zeke needs to cut the act. He's not fine. He comes home every night at 3 in the morning looking beat up. His knuckles are always bloodied. Scratches on his face and everything. Fours no better. He barely comes out of his apartment now. When he does it looks like he gets himself drunk all the time. Two more days. It's going to be hard.

 **A/N: yea so super short chapter. Haven't update since hell and gone. If you guys review some ideas I might update faster and I will give shout outs. Only to those that give ideas though! Have a nice day/night! (Ps sorry for the shitty Peter POV...not really)**


	14. Not a chapter, BUT STILL IMPORTANT

**IMPORTANT**

 **So. I'm loosing(?) inspiration people. I've got what I want to be like chapter 20, but I need help with ideas on what I should put to add up to one of the climaxes. So I will not be posting Chapter 14 until I have 20 reviews. I mean come on. I don't think 7 reviews WITH IDEAS will be that hard guys. So please. Please please. Review. Heck I'll even take constructive criticism into account.**


	15. Chapter 145

**Hey guys. As you can see this is not a chapter, but it's still super important.**

 **So, I had some of the actual chapter 14 written, but it got deleted...somehow. So I have to rewrite it and il post it as soon as I can.**

 **Also. I'm changing my username once again and for the last time so it seems a little more mutual for different fanfics.**

 **My new username will be -** _ **moonlightstar**_


	16. Chapter 14

Chapter 14

 **A/N: So as the username moonlightstar was already taken, I chose sunlightstars and the last chapter was supposed to be called 14.5, but it got messed up somehow. I am so sorry it's taking so long for me to update. As I noted in my other "chapter" my file got deleted somehow.**

 **Thank you to: Guest(you should make an account because your writing in the review was amazing) For giving me the idea and I would use it too, but alas, I have an idea already. Although I probably will use bits and pieces of yours. Also, thank you for the reminder about the grammar mistakes. I'm just horrible at grammar.**

 **Big thank you to all my readers and followers. It means a lot.**

 **If you give me ideas throughout each chapter, I will give you a shout out as I have the guest reviewer.** **I own nothing but my ideas.**

 **So, without further ado, here's the real chapter 14.**

 **Tobias POV.**

I wake up to my eight year old jumping on me, like most every other mornings. Today's her birthday and we're going to get her ears pierced today. Alyvia's very excited about it, and me. I most certainly am not. I blame Christina for getting the idea in her head in the first place.

"Alright. Alright. I'm getting up."

"Come on Daddy!" Alyvia squeals. Another thing I blame Christina for.

I pick Alyvia up and swing her around after getting up myself. I set her down then head to my twin six year old sons room. I do what I do every morning as I see they're sleeping in the same bed again. I yank the covers off them.

"Liam. Logan. It's time to get up." I watch as the both turn towards me. I watch as they try to grab for the blankets again, but are unable to as I'm holding on to them. "Come on, its really time to get up."

"Fine daddy!" Liam, the older one by two and a half minutes, tiredly yells at me.

I watch them both get up and out of bed before heading downstairs to the kitchen where I find the most beautiful women making breakfast.

So I sneak up behind her and wrap my arms around her waist.

"Good morning beautiful." Tris then turns around in my arms and sets her hands on my chest.

"Good morning handsome." She tells me before kissing me chastely. "Hey. You know we have to be down at the tattoo parlor for the piercings in about an hour and fifteen minutes right? Tori said she would do it so don't get too worried."

"Well that does make me feel better, even if just a little. A least we'll now who's putting a needle in our daughter's ears." I mumble.

"Yea,yea,yea. Go make sure the twins are getting dressed. Then can you come help me set the table?"

"Of course love. Anything for my beautiful wife."

"Tobias we've been married for ten years. No need to treat me like we just got married yesterday."

"Ah, but it feels like yesterday."

"Then someone needs to do a lot of explaining on how we ended up with three kids." I laugh at her home and give her one more chaste kiss before heading to the boys room.

After breakfast Tris and I help the twins get their shoes on while Alyvia is bouncing and running around us.

"Alyvia, honey. Stop running around everywhere. We won't make the appointment if you're crazy like that." Tris tells our oldest daughter while slightly laughing.

"OK mommy!"

I unlock the door and wait for Trid and the kids to go out into the hallway before I follow suit and chut and lock the door behind us.

I see Alyvia has gotten far ahead and Tris gives me a look before chasing after her leaving me with my sons.

Tris catches up to Alyvia.

Everything seems as though it goes in slow motion.

Tris turns around holding Alyvia's hand.

A man in all black walks out from behind a passage.

Alyvia runs over to me.

Tris's back is still turned while she walks my way.

The man pull out a gun.

I try to do something, anything.

The love of my life is killed before not only my eyes, but our children's too.

I hear shouting in the background not even realizing it's mine.

Alyvia and the twin fun up to Tris's dead body and I chase after them.

"Mommy!"

"No!"

"Mommy please wake up. Please!"

She's gone...again.

I wake with a start.

It wasn't real.

None of it was.

Tris is still dead.

But we never had a family.

We never got the chance.

 **A/N: So, short chapter. So so sorry I haven't updated in a long time.**

 **This next week I have my county fair and I'm showing lambs. Wish me luck!**

 **Next chapter I'll be introducing new characters.**

 **As a reminder, if you give me ideas throughout each chapter, I will give you a shout out as I have the guest reviewer.** **Question of the "day/night": how many of my readers write stories themselves?**


	17. Chapter 17

**A/N: Hey readers/ visitors. I'm really sorry I haven't posted a new chapter in such a long time. I'm not someone that posts something just to post.** ** _Then why are you posting this?_** **you may ask. I just wanted to tell you that I've been really busy and writers block has taken over my mind. I have a chapter started for this story as well as my others. It'd really help if I got some suggestions(** ** _hint hint_** **):) I know I've gotten a few ideas from some people and thank you so much! I don't mean to be inactive. Comment or PM me with ideas, suggestions, or questions!**

 **~B**


	18. The real Chapter 15

_**The real**_ **Chapter 15**

 **A/N: Hey readers! So as I said, I am introducing a new character this chapter. The names may or may not be hard to pronounce. I really have no idea. I'm basically making them up as I go.**

 **Averyanna POV**

Today is the aptitude test. I'm nervous. Who isn't? I know I don't belong in Abnegation, it just isn't me, but Abnegation's all I've ever known. Even after the war two years ago we still went back to the factions. Which was a smart idea in my opinion, but back then I didn't have an opinion. I was only 14 then. Merely a naïve little girl.

Even though I know I don't belong in Abnegation, where would I go? Abnegation is just too stifling for me. Too stiff. Ha. Yea. Stiff. Way to add to all the other people already calling me that.

"Hey!" I turn around to see my friend, well acquaintance, Isabella walking quickly to catch up to me. Since it's too selfish to run.

"Hey." I reply.

"So, the aptitude test is tomorrow."

"Yea. It is. You ready?"

"Are you ever really ready to take the test that could determine the rest of your life?" She asks as we walk home.

"Well….no, but it's not like you have to pick the faction that the test says you're best for. It is a choice. I mean most everyone gets the faction of their origin anyway."

"What do you think you'll choose? I mean, what if you get Abnegation, would you stay?"

"Isabelle, a lot of the people that transfer get the faction of their origin on their aptitude, they still transfer anyway though. I don't know really. I mean, you know Abnegation isn't for me, it's obvious to anyone that can see."

"It isn't though Averyanna. Not to anyone that doesn't know you that well. I can hardly see it and we've been acquaintances for our entire lives," she says stressing the word.

"I guess, and I haven't made a decision yet. I don't know. I don't want to leave my family. What about you? Have you decided?" I ask as we reach her family's home and start walking up the sidewalk to her door.

"I guess I wait until the test." We bow to each other before I turn around and begin my short walk home to begin supper.

My parents come home as well as my younger brother and we do our usual routine, asking everyone how their day was, and my brother begins helping me prepare supper.

We eat our plain food and my parents send my brother and I to bed. As I ascend the stairs I hear my parents begin to whisper, no doubt talking about me and the aptitude tests and if they believe I'll stay here. I don't stay to hear what they have to say about it.

I go the rest of the way to my bedroom and close the door. I change out of my plain grey dress and plain grey leggings I to another plain grey dress that is looser and acts as a nightgown. Sleep soon takes me, but not before I think about my choices. Where am I to go? I believe my mother knows and sees that I can't stay here. Will my brother and father forgive me if I leave?

 **A/N: so this chapter is long overdue and I'm sorry. It's also so short. My life has just been super busy but now I hope I can post chapters sooner and maybe longer ones. I almost have another chapter to this story written.**

 **Review please!**


	19. Chapter 19

A/N: **hey readers. I know I haven't been updating much I'm losing inspiration and motivation for this story.**

 **Thanks so much to my readers and those that review.**

 **Of you ever review a question, I will answer it in the next updates.**

 **A very pissed-off reader(guest): I'm sorry I didn't answer this in the last chapter but I know I confused a lot of people in the beginning of chapter 14. That was kind of the point. It was Fours nightmare**

 **Please drop ideas and reviews. :)**

 **Without further ado… chapter 16.**

 **Tris POV**

 _Tired._

That's all I feel. That's all I feel capable of.

 _Walking._

That's all Uriah and I've been doing for the past three hours. I only know because Matthew gave us both watches before we left.

 _Hunger._

Thats all I feel right now. We haven't eaten anything in six hours.

 _Thirst._

So I guess that this actually makes three feelings I can feel. We've barely drank any water that we have in fear that we'll run out.

Even with the watches it's getting harder to comprehend time. It feels like every second is a minute and every minute an hour.

The only thing that keeps my mind off walking, is thinking about all the possibilities or Demario's that could happen when Uriah and I finally manage to get back to Dauntless.

 _If._

No. I can't think that way. We will make it back. We have to.

Even if our friends no longer need us, need me, even if Tobias has moved on, we need to get back. No matter what. We need to.

 **Tobias POV**

3:12 am

The angry clock light blinking at me. I've barely gotten any sleep. Tomorrow, or rather today, marks two years.

How have I made it this far without you?

Who am I kidding. I haven't. I haven't lived up to my end of the bargain. Well I have. I've teetered to the edge as close as I could get without falling.

What did Natalie mean by Tris isn't dead? Of course she's dead. I saw her with my own eyes. I touched her cold, lifeless body damnit!

I lay awake. Wondering.

'If I had just listened to her that day, Uriah would be alive.

If I had made it back to the Bureau just a few minutes faster, would Tris still be alive?'

"Stop beating yourself up over this Tobias. Either way, the same outcome would've come to both of them. No matter how it came about or who did what."

I shoot up in bed. I must be hallucinating. There is no way in hell i'm hearing Natalie's voice again. It must just be from the lack of sleep.

"You're not hallucinating dear child. I'm talking to you plain as day. Stop worrying. Get some sleep." And just like that, I fall into a dreamless sleep.

 **Uriah POV**

God fucking damnit.

We've been running for hours is seems like when really it's probably been one. Now we're only walking and it feels like crawling. The heat is horrible. We haven't got an insurmountable source of water so we've got to use it sparingly…

"Hey Tris?-"

"No Uri. You asked me 5 minutes ago and the answer is no. You ask me 5 minutes from now, the answer will still be no. It's a good thing Matthew gave me the water because we'd be all out of he'd given it to you. We've still got about…. um…. maybe…. I'd say…. 7 to 9 hours until we get to Chicago and we need the water to last. So again, no."

I knew it. She wouldn't budge. She does have a good point though.

"Fine. Whatever." I grumble.

"Stop thinking about wanting water and the heat. It might help." I hear her say from farther away.

"Yea, like that'd help." I grumble. "The heat is all around us and my throat and mouth is parched for a taste of water." I say as I catch up to her.

"Oh look at that, Uriah, being poetic. I never thought I'd live to see this day. Or rather hear you say anything like that." She sarcastically says while slightly laughing, I lightly punch her.

"Oh shut up. I guess almost dying and then walking through this fucking heat for what, the past hour and a half, has had an affect on me" I laugh and I see her frowning slightly. "Hey. What's wrong?"

"Nothing. Not really anyway. It's been a long time since we could laugh and joke around like this. I don't really remember the last time all our friends were together. I mean all of us. Maybe before the war? It feels nice."

"You're still worried that he's moved on aren't you?" I ask her, noticing her sudden solemnity.

"I am worried that he has. But apart of me hopes he has. Hopes he found his happiness." And with that we keep walking. On and on and on.

I have worries of myself as well. I'm worried Marlene has moved on. I also hope she didn't spend the last two years mourning me though. I hope she found her happiness as well, even if it would crush me.

I sling my arm around Tris's shoulder and squeeze. Hopefully some reassurance. For her or for me I'm not sure.

 **A/N: again. Long overdue. And again I hate how short this is but I will be making them longer soon lol. Anyway. Have a good night/day! Reviews would be much appreciated!**


	20. Chapter 20

**A/N: Hey readers! So what's new with your life? I recently sprained my ankle for like the 5th times but whatever? Who cares am I right? Anyway, so life has been pretty busy. I wasn't really home all of June so I wasn't working on any of my stories, but right now I'm trying to write them as fast as I can when inspiration hits. Which isn't all that often as you can see since it's already September.**

 **So I wanted to give a shout out to Charms22. I will admit that I stalked your account for like a full 2 minutes and I wanted to say how many of the same stories we've read, like, it,s a lot! I also wanted to thank you for the your support. It means so much, and by the way, I really loved your review to chapter 11. Your constant reviews, even when you don't have to because those chapters were posted a long time ago, mean so much to me. Thank you! PM me sometime!**

 **Now...on to chapter 17**

 **Tobias POV**

 _Today is the day._

I sigh. It's officially 2 years.

2 years to the day.

2 years since the war ended.

2 years since we've had a choosing ceremony.

2 years since Tris died.

I lay flat on my back, staring at the ceiling, not wanting to get out of bed. I turn to look at the clock.

 _6:45am_

It's almost time. Almost time for the choosing ceremony to start. Then after that I have to greet the initiates.

The last time I went to greet the initiates it had been when I was going to leave. i had found out some of the things Erudite had been doing and didn't want any part in the war they were planning.

Then, she showed up. She showed up and basically changed everything. she literally _fell_ into my life. She turned my life upside down. I couldn't leave her. So, I stayed.

 _Tris._

Fuck, I miss her.

I get up after overthinking and staring at my ceiling for far too long that I don't even know how long it was until I look at the clock and see that 15 minutes have passed.

 _7:00am_

I walk into my bathroom and turn the shower water on as hot as it will go, steaming up the bathroom effectively in the process. I watch as the mirror gets slowly covered with the steam coming from the shower behind me. Watching in as my own eyes seemingly disappear.

I strip from my long sleeve grey shirt, and then my sweatpants and eventually my boxers, despite it being mid July( **I don't actually know when choosing ceremony is so this is where i placed it)** I can never seem to stay warm at night. I look down at my wrists and see the scars I've given myself throughout the past...2 years, not surprisingly.

What have I done? I mean, sure I kept my promise, but not completely. I told her that I would live and this is clearly not living, but how can I live when she is not living next to me? I told her I'd try, so I guess I should start.

I get into the shower and hiss as the hot water touches my skin, effectively burning me, but I still don't turn the temperature down. I guess I feel like I deserve the pain just a little bit. I reach for the bottle of shampoo and put some in my head before lathering it into my hair. Then I grab the body was, taking in a sharp intake of breath when the soap suds sting the new cuts across my wrists.

I find myself crying. Not realizing it until the sobs rack my body.

 _What am I doing?_

I'm not only ruining my own life by inflicting my self hurt, I'm ruining all those around me that care about me. They have to watch and worry when my next attempt will be. It disgusts me.

 _Why didn't I just throw myself over the casm? It would've ended it completely._

No. I know why I didn't. I'm too much of a coward. I want to welcome Death but I'm too afraid of opening the door.

 _ **Tris POV**_

 _Just a few more hours. That's it. Then we are free of this barren land._

"Hey Tris! Are you ok?" I can hear the concern laced in Uriah's voice. I clear my throat. It hurts.

"Yea. I'm fine. just tired"

"Do you want to stop for a little bit? There's some shade over there. I can keep watch while you sleep."

"No. No. I'll be fine. I don't want to stop out here. We need to get to Chicago as soon as possible. You never know when Evelyn's minions will come looking for us."

"Alright." Uriah looks at me warily before taking the lead and walking on.

Do I want to stop? Of course I do. But we can't. We need to get to Dauntless. I need to see Tobias and Christina and everyone. So does Uriah. I won't slow us down.

 **A/N: So like I get that I'm a shitty person for not posting in a really long time and then when I do the chapters aren't even that long. I'm having trouble figuring out how I want to incorporate all the new characters I want to.**

 **Leave a review!**


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